#got your other ask identifying yourself 😙

[blushedfemmes]

Kinda not really forcemasc idea I've had for a bit I figured I'd share

imagining I have a friend who's wanted to be more masc, dress different, change his hair, start t, he's seen the changes I've gotten from is but is scared to start. One day I give him a bottle of my t, "it's a spare, you can have it, just try it out for now, one bottle won't do much but it's something right?" I say. I give him another a couple weeks later even though he's never mentioned using it yet (I can tell from his confidence he has been). Some more time passes and we have a regular little squabble, we decide to resolve it with a 1v1 in some video game we both play like usual. Right before we start the match I say "loser has to show the winner how he jacks off" it throws him off instantly "don't act like you haven't peeked at me jacking off before, plus I wanna see how big your dick is now, betcha I'm bigger" I say. He's red beyond belief so I go easy on him in the match, let him regain focus to make it seem even but still win.

"Well, get to it man" he's flustered, fumbling with the button on his jeans. I sit and wait a moment, palming my tdick through my sweats, "wait wait did you think I wanted to see how you jerk yourself off?" I stop and grab his wrist "no dude, you're gonna do me, this is like, a performance test right? I'll tell you if you do something wrong but you aren't gonna be getting off unless you win another match"

i have reached the pinnacle, i have a butch writing butch4butch erotica for me in my inbox, i truly have arrived. oh god really good stuff mmhm 😵‍💫 “palming my tdick through my sweats” made me lightheaded… fuck i love a cocky confident butch showing his buddy the ropes but also making sure he knows his place

[sparkles-oflight]

I wasn't going to post this. I saw everyone jumping on the "let me tell you my emotional connection to joker out" train and I wasn't going to participate because.....well....my annoying ass already said everything there needs to be said through tags on random posts (I should really learn how to shut my mouth).

But now it's 4 am (thank you Rosa Linn, I can't say that seriously ever again), I'm having trouble sleeping since I'm not fully recovered from my cold, so, fuck it.

I'll go on a rant so... I'll add the little thing that "divides" the post so that is easier to skip

Ah....where to start...I could tell you how I started enjoying joker out but that's a wholeass post on itself...

So, I'm going to start with how I connect to each member.

Bojan, you were the one who "opened the doors" to me. Frontman doing his service. In Bojan I saw a lot about myself. I saw a guy who loves to make bad puns, who loves languages and brag about their multicultural knowledge. I saw a guy who can be awkward at times, who deal with anxiety problems... Who says they'll stay away from Social media and then proceeds to post the most unhinged things. I saw someone who likes to understand societies as well (please be my tutor, I really need to pass sociology this is year) and likes to fight stereotypes.

Kris told us Bojan's parents can be a bit more judgy and without going into a lot of details, I'll say I also understand that so much (I didn't want to bring sexuality into this, but even if Bojan turns out to be straight, I still relate to all the pressure is parents must put on him just because he goes against "the norm" in the Balkans).

Kris...my bitch.

(Jk jk, I love him a lot).

How do I start?

Kris and I honestly have a lot of common too. The whole "bullying for falling at being one gender" thing hits so close. I don't talk about my gender much but I currently identify as a enby/gender fluid. However, for most of my life I was terrified of failing as a girl.

I remember coming home and asking my mom why was I different from the other girls (NOT IN THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING, PLS, I'M QUITE LITERALLY JUST NOT A GIRL 😅) and she would reply stuff like "Of course you are like the others, you have a vagina like them" - this sounds so bad and it made me feel so much worse because it didn't provide me with an answer at all to the bullying I endured. I had short hair, liked "boyish" things and so I was called a boy (+I got transphobic comments too ✌🏽😙). I was never as close with the girls because of it and boys would also exclude me from being too close to them. I was in the middle and I had to change my personality countless times to fit my assigned gender.

Now that I'm in university, I finally figured myself out and it's so refreshing waking up to see myself with short hair again, with more "genderless" clothes, having no problems with my little "moustachio" and being able to appreciate what I see in the mirror... learning to love myself.

Kris as we know him identifies as a man. He, however, also learned how to break the gender stigma (AND THAT OUTFIT IS A FUCKING STATEMENT) and learned that having confidence in himself is all that matters. No matter how long your hair is, no matter how you dance or sing, no matter the color of your pants. Be yourself and be proud of you are is really what matters!

Jan....I actually don't have a lot to say (I think I wasted most my words with Kris), but just like Kris I also love how comfortable Jan feels in himself and how little he seems to care about what others think. I love his sense of humor and his style. I love his voice and how sometimes he can get a little embarrassed off-stage...I would just really love to have him as a best friend honestly. He probably zones out instead of listening, but oh well 😅

Naceeeeee, my teddy bear. I also don't have the energy to dive too deep in the topic, but as someone who also struggled with body image issues, I'm so proud whenever Nace feels comfortable on his own skin. It's refreshing.

But obviously I gotta mention that post. It's kinda funny to me that he wrote that when I'm currently writing a story for my script class about how it is to live with divorced parents and how the feeling of belonging is something we strive for.

It's something I definitely struggled with all my life and it's getting worse as time goes on. It's so refreshing to see another person go through and talk about it and seeing that they reached the happy ending I'm also looking for...

Jure le chatton. You know I don't usually talk much about you because we know nothing about your life. However, that interview where you said you asked your mom why you were problematic, hit me hard. For a lot of reasons I have mentioned before, but also because I'm considered problematic by both my parents. I don't want to get into many details... It's 4m after all.

There's one thing I was going to mention on Bojan's part, but I figured it would fit the whole band.

I really really am looking up to these guys. They are around my age and they have done so much already. I have been stuck in the past couple of years due to my depression - and realistically I never thought of actually turning 18, let alone 20 - and seeing how much they worked hard makes me want to work hard myself. I haven't been able to, but hopefully I will...

Also, everyday I have been waking up in a good mood knowing I have met some incredible people thanks to this fandom and the boys! Like, excuse people actually care about what I write, what???? 😅

It's been a great experience so far. Let's see what this will bring me in the future :)